Tawan Panutsittikorn and her mom

It was a hot Tuesday afternoon when I stepped off the Yellow Line and followed Beam’s directions into a busy soi. Upstairs in an office-front building was the House of Faithe fitting room, a space that felt almost like a science-fiction set. Beam was there with her mother, Ae, and Pran, who was curating the event they were rehearsing for. Beam had chosen the location because Por Thammatat, the owner, had designed the dress for their performance and allowed them to rehearse there.

I first met Beam, Tawan Panutsittikorn, more than a decade earlier when she arrived with a friend to work on a thesis short film and I helped with some visual effects. Years later, I ran into her again while she was directing a commercial outside my campus. She told me she had begun as an art director until a producer asked her to direct. By the time of this portrait, her work had expanded across commercials, collaborations with artists and a full season of the series Queendom that left her exhausted and struggling with insomnia.

That professional story was only one part of why she wanted her mother in the portrait. Beam told me that tensions within the family when she was younger had left her guarded with her parents for a long time. It was through sound healing, Reiki, guided meditation and home-cooked food that Ae later helped Beam find sleep, slowly repairing their bond.